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Current
Muslim Wannabe Number 1
Trevor Phillips - Head of the new Commission for Equality and Human Rights
Turban of Death awarded for services to Islamonazism
Having spent the past 20 years promoting racial hatred and inequality in Britain, Trevor Phillips has now decided to turn his attention to the Muslim problem.
Once described as the BNP's greatest ever recruiting tool, Trev has received Mo's Turban of Death for remarks he recently made at a fringe meeting of the 2007 Labour Party Conference.
He stated that all history books should be rewritten in order to show Muslims in a good light. One example he gave stated that it wasn't Sir Francis Drake and the English navy who defeated the Spanish Armada in 1588... it was actually Ottoman Muslims. He said "Let's rewrite that story, let's use our heritage to rewrite that story so that it is truly inclusive. That's the reason for this: So that we have an identity which brings us together and binds us in the stormy times we're going to have."
Unfortunately, there is a fatal flaw in Trev's mad Westernphobic rantings, it's all b*ll*cks. In 1588 the Ottoman Turks were actually busy in the Near East and had absolutely nothing to do with the Spanish Armada. Dr Simon Adams, co-author of England, Spain and the Grand Armada, said "the Ottomans were not threatening Spain in the Mediterranean. The Armada failed because it was poorly planned and the English had an effective Navy helped by favourable weather."
Robert Whelan, of Civitas, said: "Before we start weaving in stories about the Turks and the Armada, dreamt up by people with their own agenda, we should first ensure we get the basics right."
Author of Our Island Story, Henrietta Elizabeth Marshall, said the claim is "fantasy".
Sir Iqbal Sacranie (ex secretary general of the Muslim Council of Britain and supporter of paedophilia) said "All books other than the Quran should be burnt anyway, so there is no reason to change the history books. This man is quite obviously even madder than me"
We eagerly await Trev's next work of literary genius. Possibly rewriting the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805... maybe super intelligent Muslims used the scientific 'miracles' within the Quran to build a submarine. They could have positioned themselves under the French fleet and used nano-technology (yet another scientific miracle contained with the Quran) to breach the hulls of the French ships above. Not wishing to take any praise for their military genius, our modest Muslim friends then simply set course for the secret underwater base in Mecca where they waited 100 years for the Infidel West to reinvent the submarine.
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